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20 of Steven Wright's Funniest Jokes For His 59th Birthday

Heh.

Don't get too excited, but today is the deadpan comedian's 59th birthday. 1. It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. 2. I almost broke both my arms trying to hold open a revolving door for a woman. 3. I got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him. 4. Every morning I get up and make instant coffee and I drink it so I have the energy to make real coffee.
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