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Mom Says She Regrets Having Children

This is just sad:

My son Stuart was five days old when the realisation hit me like a physical blow: having a child had been the biggest mistake of my life. Even now, 33 years on, I can still picture the scene: Stuart was asleep in his crib. He was due to be fed but hadn't yet woken. I heard him stir but as I looked at his round face on the brink of wakefulness, I felt no bond. No warm rush of maternal affection. I felt completely detached from this alien being who had encroached upon my settled married life and changed it, irrevocably, for the worse.
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3 comments:

Tween Lit Crit said...

It just reads like a form of sociopathology. Sociopathology is interesting. It's incomprehensible to the normal human experience. They are what they are. Thankfully, this mom at least does step up to the plate and not harm or "use" anyone like the sociopaths who land in prison.

I wouldn't particularly credit her with "courageous honesty" or anything like that (unless I were writing a college thesis on such a topic). No doubt she does contribute to an understanding of aberrancy that could be helpful and sheds light on some past human behavior not well understood by the norm.

Kimc

Myers16670 said...

Don't be too quick to dismiss this woman as hateful or sociopathic. Secular society teaches us that love is all emotion, all enthallment and delight. It tells us nothing of duty or selflessness. This woman is simply saying that she never wanted to have children, and that she still wishes that she never had. Yet, she has had not one but two, and has raised them faithfully to adulthood. She set aside her own wants and stepped outside her own notion of "love", and has truly loved her children. Love, true love, is an act of the will, not an emotion. Never forget that. Many men struggle with this, and I believe it is often the cause of much distance between fathers and their children. It is the reason many men leave relationships. They are staggered when their children are born and cry and need them, yet they feel nothing. Many men never feel a bond with their children until they are toddlers, or even later (have faith, young fathers: it will happen!) This is more common than many would like to admit, but when they are taught that love is nothing more than an emotion, they are ill-equipped to deal with this. Love is an act of the will, and the woman in this article has truly loved her children. Love is doing what we know is needed by others, especially in spite of what we ourselves would wish. So many marriages end because, after the "honeymoon" ends, the spouses cannot make the transition to what real love demands. The movie "Keeping the Faith", though forgettable in many respects, contains an excellent scene where the young priest played by Ed Norton is speaking with an older priest about his struggle to remain in his vocation. The older priest tells him that every day he himself wakes up and must decide whether to be a priest. It is not a passion which, once made, lasts forever with the same excitement and enthrallment. No, every morning he must choose again and again to take up the commitment he has made. God bless this woman for choosing, year after year, to carry out her vocation (yes, vocation; never forget that marriage and the insperable parenthood it demands are such) in spite of what she wished for herself. It is a damnable shame that the reporter picked up this story for all the wrong reasons, and that it is so easy to read it for such, but there is a story of real blessedness here. God has blessed this woman and her family! We should celebrate this woman's story!

Mary De Voe said...

The child belongs to her husband too. If the woman loves her husband and she brought the child into the world for him, the child is a gift from God to her and to her husband.


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