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Stop Being Cool, Be a Dad

A great piece by Andrew Klavan. A must read called "The Tyranny of Hip.:

Desperately racing to catch up with the conservative sociologist Charles Murray whom they so despise, the leftist New York Times front-paged a story Saturday that basically bore out the central findings of Murray’s new book Coming Apart.

More than half of births to American women under 30 occur outside marriage. … The fastest growth in the last two decades has occurred among white women in their 20s. … One group still largely resists the trend: college graduates, who overwhelmingly marry before having children. That is turning family structure into a new class divide, with the economic and social rewards of marriage increasingly reserved for people with the most education.
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Anonymous said...

When I was divorced many years ago I lost, literally, everything. In spite of stumbling through
the rubble of my life I was blessed with a few, fantastic friends and wonderful, loving parents who supported me as I struggled to remain involved in our five children's lives.

It was hell. I was lost without my family but I did
my best which was always trying to fit all lost time
Into the little time I had with them. Although she
abandoned our marriage for another one, I never stopped loving the woman I married. The children
knew this but they also experienced my searing pain and anger, for years along with my devotion to them and faithfulness to our vows. Were it not
for our children, I would have taken my own life,
the devastation was so overwhelming, endless and, as I saw it for years and years, almost without

But my friends and family hung in there and, thank God, so did our five children. They have suffered immensely from their parents divorce and they still do, although their views are distinctly individual through how each of them experienced it. But each of them, through some rocky times between us, maintained their relationships with me, each giving me solace and joy beyond accurate description. They, intimately, experienced
my persistant agony through the effects of their mother's choices and behaviors which neither they, nor I could escape. We coped as individuals,
as best we could.

Recently, it struck home when one of our daughters described how she believed(and I fully agree with her) the decay of society is mostly the result of a detachment of parents from their childrens' lives, in essence being strangers in the same family. She knew, when she texted me that
comment, how hard I have worked to be a part of
each of our childrens' lives through the many years. I AM BLESSED to be in contact with our children many times during each week to keep in touch with their lives and their families lives.

They know my choice to remain faithful to our vows has come at a serious price, but they know that their mother and father, are married in the eyes of the Church and in the eyes of God. They also know that besides living my life as an example
for them, since a father's role is to teach his children the faith, my role also is contained in "the good of the spouse", which enjoins me with doing
what I can to try to bring my wife to a saving relationship with God in the context of our wounded marriage.

Their "cool" father, inspite of his faults, has tried to
be a living example of fidelity and love, which they
recognize just as they recognize my mistakes.

Rather than seeing me as a hypocrite, they see me
differently, to their credit. It is heartening that I heard from my most distant(mileagewise) daughter today that she and my grandchildren were eagerly awating my visit with them this summer. I cannot wait to be there but do not want it to hurry by either. I want to treasure every moment with them. The same is true for all our children and grandchildren.

It is just a tragedy that our family is broken, when it could be made whole if the teachings of the Church were followed.

It seems that it is cool enough for my children, that I am their dad. I am certainly down with that!

Pray for all of us, please.


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