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How to Report on the Catholic Church

Funny 'cause it's true:

Now between the Pope not approving the use of condoms, the Bishops not saying that gay marriage is cool, World Youth Day and everything else, I've been reading a good deal of media coverage on the Catholic Church. Being an intuitive human being, I couldn't help but notice some patterns in this coverage. Thus, in an effort to help the new journalist about to concoct his first article about the Church, I have developed a template for the perfect article to report on any Catholic event. It's foolproof, people.
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