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Mr. Modesty Tells It Like It Is

The funniest thing you will read all day.

If you’re anything like me, you spend an alarming quantity of time visualizing what life would be like if your wife was dead. Of course I don’t want her to die, but the thought does at least waft across the mind on occasion. And if it were to happen, the untimely death of Mrs. Beguiles? Why, I’d be back on the streets, naturally, in search of a new young filly to take care of all the whelps and to prepare my meals. Only the new one wouldn’t give me so much back-talk, that’s for sure.

But what else would I require from a new bride? If I were to suddenly find myself cold and alone (perish the thought) what—all kidding aside—what would I look for in a new wife?

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TragicallyUnhipMom said...

Now that was hysterical! I always thought a Catholic burka was a frumpy, ankle-length, maternity-sized denim jumper overtop of a turtleneck... complete with chunky scrunchy socks and vintage Reeboks.... hair pulled back in a French braid or bun...

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