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How the Puritans Stole Christmas!

Jay Anderson wrote this brilliant Seussian poem about Christmas. It is nothing short of brilliant.

How the Puritans Stole Christmas

Every High-Church Anglican and Catholic
Living in Jolly Olde England
Liked Christmas a lot...

But the Puritans,
Who were infected with Calvinism,
Did NOT!

The Puritans hated Christmas!
The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that their round heads weren't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, their predestinarian arses were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
Was a distaste for mince pies - shaped like a manger-bed in a stall.

But,
Whatever the reason,
Mince pies or their arses,
The Puritans saw the yuletide celebrations as farces...
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